The platinum rule is a moral principle which denotes that you should treat others the way they want to be treated. For example, the platinum rule denotes that if someone wants you to leave them alone, then you should do that.
The platinum rule can be useful in many situations, but it’s important to understand the potential issues that are associated with it. As such, in the following article you will learn more about the platinum rule, and see how you can use it yourself as effectively as possible.
Formulations of the platinum rule
The platinum rule can be formulated in two main ways:
- The positive (or directive) form, which denotes that you should treat others the way they want to be treated.
- The negative (or prohibitive) form, which denotes that you shouldn’t treat others the way they don’t want to be treated.
The positive form of this rule is more common.
In addition, the platinum rule is sometimes formulated using slightly different phrasings that convey the same concept, such as “do unto others as they would have you do unto them”.
Examples of the platinum rule
An example of the platinum rule is that if someone wants you to not contact them for a while, then you should respect their wishes and not contact them.
Another example of the platinum rule is that if someone wants you to speak to them politely, then you should do so. Similarly, if someone doesn’t want you to speak to them rudely, then you should avoid doing so. These two examples illustrate the positive and negative forms of the platinum rule respectively, though both are based on the same basic rationale.
Other examples of how the platinum rule can be implemented are the following:
- If someone prefers to receive feedback in a certain way, then you should give them feedback that way, even if you yourself would prefer receiving or delivering feedback a different way.
- If someone doesn’t want you to compliment them a certain way, then you should avoid complimenting them that way, even if you yourself would like to compliment or be complimented that way.
Finally, another example of the platinum rule is the following:
“I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: ‘Wouldn’t you like to have that?’
Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?”
— From “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie (this example and its connection to the platinum rule were highlighted in “The Art of People” by Dave Kerpen)
The golden rule vs. the platinum rule
The golden rule is a moral principle which denotes that you should treat others the way you want to be treated yourself. For example, the golden rule means that if you want people to treat you with respect, then you should treat them with respect too.
The difference between the golden rule and the platinum rule is that the golden rule denotes that you should treat others the way you want to be treated, whereas the platinum rule denotes that you should treat others the way they want to be treated.
The golden rule is better-known than the platinum rule, and is considered to be one of the best-known moral principles in existence, if not the best-known one, having been proposed in many variations by various philosophers and religions throughout history.
The main criticism of the golden rule is that it prompts you to treat others the same way you want to be treated yourself, even though they might want to be treated a different way. This can lead to problematic situations, where a person mistreats someone based on the guidance of the golden rule. For example, this could lead someone to make an unwelcomed romantic gesture toward someone else, simply because the person making the gesture wishes that someone would do the same for them. This issue has been described by writer George Bernard Shaw, who famously said:
“Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may be not be the same.”
The platinum rule doesn’t suffer from this issue, since it prompts people to treat others the way those other people want to be treated.
However, the use of the platinum rule can lead to other issues. One such notable issue is that other people may want you to treat them in a way that harms you, for example if they want you to treat them as your superiors even if you don’t feel comfortable with that. Similarly, another such issue is that you may have no way to know how the other person wants to be treated, for example if you’ve never met them before. Furthermore, the golden rule might sometimes lead to better outcomes for other reasons, for instance if it leads someone to display more empathy toward others.
As such, the platinum rule is not inherently better than the golden rule, and there are cases where it’s preferable to use the golden rule instead, to use both rules together, or to use neither of these rules. In addition, there are other moral principles that aim to address these limitations, like the spiritual rule, which denotes that you should “treat others as well as possible, considering your best abilities and values, their preferences, and the well-being of all life”.
Note: Similarly to the platinum rule, the golden rule can also be formulated in both a positive way (“treat others the way you want to be treated”) and a negative way (“don’t treat others the way you don’t want to be treated yourself”; this is sometimes also called the silver rule). In addition, the golden rule can also be formulated in an empathic (or responsive) form, which denotes that when you wish something upon others, you also wish it upon yourself.
Caveat about the platinum rule
The platinum rule can conflict with other guiding principles, including moral, social, and legal ones. For example, someone may want you to treat them in a way that causes them or someone else harm, which can conflict with your desire to avoid harming others, or with what society legally allows you to do. This issue is described by one scholar as follows:
“Let us suppose that we should do unto others as they would have us do unto them. What sort of conduct would this require of us? Well, for one thing, if you want me to assign to you all of my property, then this rule implies that I should do so, for it requires me to do unto you as you would have me do unto you, and in this case you would have me sign over to you all of my property. If your demands should be increased, and you want me to be your slave for life and do your every bidding, the rule would require me to do this. Such requirements are absurd, and the rule that leads to them can be no better…
This reasoning leads irresistibly to the conclusion that this ‘rule’ leads to consequences that are absurd and morally wrong. But let us now reverse the application of the rule. The rule actually applies to both parties to the transaction, and not just to me. It applies to everyone alike, for it requires everyone to do unto others as they would have him do unto them. So if I should want you to assign to me all your property, or be my slave for life, then you are required to do so. If A wants you to do x, and B wants you to do y, and x and y are incompatible with each other, the rule still requires you to do both. The rule therefore leads to impossible results, and is actually impossible to apply. It is tantamount to: ‘Always do what anyone else wants you to do’, which in turn is equivalent to a universal requirement of perfect or absolute altruism, the absurdity of which is so manifest as not to require detailing…
Perhaps the Inversion of the Golden Rule [which is a different name for the platinum rule] is meant to be applied only with certain qualifications, such as ‘so far as it is not unreasonable or inconvenient or absurd or immoral or impossible’. But this would not leave us with much of a principle, or even much of a rule.”
— From “The Golden Rule” (Singer, 1963)
As such, while the platinum rule can sometimes be useful, it can be problematic to use it without considering other important factors, such as the potential harm that your actions could cause.
How to use the platinum rule
The key to using the platinum rule is to treat people the way they want to be treated, or to at least consider how they want to be treated when deciding how to treat them. To achieve this, you first need to figure out how they want to be treated, which you can do in various ways, such as:
- Asking them directly.
- Asking someone who knows them.
- Asking someone who’s similar to them in ways that are relevant to your potential actions.
- Thinking about their past statements and actions.
- Use debiasing techniques—especially ones that reduce the egocentric bias—like visualizing the situation from other people’s perspective and slowing down your reasoning process.
In addition, when considering whether and how to use the platinum rule, you should consider other relevant factors, like potential issues that the platinum rule could cause. This could mean, for example, that you treat people the way they want to be treated, but only as long as this doesn’t cause anyone harm.
Finally, you can also help and encourage others to use the platinum rule, toward yourself, toward someone else, or in general. To do this, you can explain to them what the platinum rule is, why it’s beneficial, and how to use it properly. Furthermore, you can help them in other ways, such as asking guiding questions that prompt them to think about this principle (like “how do you think this person would like to be treated?”).
Overall, to use the platinum rule, you should treat people the way they want to be treated as much as reasonably possible, or at least consider how they want to be treated. While doing this, you should also consider other relevant factors, like the potential harm that your actions might cause. To figure out how people want to be treated, you can do things like talk to them, ask someone who knows them, think about their past actions, or visualize the situation from their perspective.
Additional information
Origin and history of the platinum rule
Based on a search of Google Scholar and Google Books, the earliest mention of the platinum rule as a philosophical concept appears to be a 1953 article titled “The Platinum Rule: A Concept of Persuasive Leadership”, published by Robert P. Haffa in Military Review (the September issue, Volume XXXIII, Number 6, pages 50–55).
Since then, the platinum rule has been mentioned in various other works, such as a 1965 paper which states that the associated golden rule has lost favor in recent years, and that there have been attempts to replace it with the platinum rule.
The platinum rule is sometimes also attributed to other works that helped popularize it, such as a 1995 speech by Tony Alessandra and the 2017 book “Art of People” by Dave Kerpen.
Finally, note that the platinum rule is sometimes referred to by other names, such as the copper rule or the inversion of the golden rule.
Related concepts
The platinum rule is closely associated with several moral and ethical concepts beyond the golden rule.
One such concept is Kant’s categorical imperative, a moral principle which denotes that you should “act only in accordance with that maxim through which you can at the same time will that it become a universal law”. Essentially, this principle denotes that you should act a certain way only if you’re willing to have everyone else act the same way too.
Another related concept is Clarke’s Rule of Equity (also called the principle of equity or the axiom of equity), which states that “Whatever I judge reasonable or unreasonable for another to do for me; that, by the same judgment, I declare reasonable or unreasonable, that I in the like safe should do for him.”.
Summary and conclusions
- The platinum rule is a moral principle which denotes that you should treat others the way they want to be treated.
- For example, the platinum rule denotes that if someone wants you to leave them alone, then you should do that.
- The platinum rule can improve the way you engage with others (e.g., by helping you communicate with them more effectively), but it can also cause issues, for instance if people want to be treated in a way that’s harmful to others.
- To use the platinum rule, you should treat people the way they want to be treated as much as reasonably possible, while also considering other relevant factors, like the potential harm that your actions might cause.
- To figure out how people want to be treated, you can do things like talk to them, ask someone who knows them, think about their past actions, or visualize the situation from their perspective.